Thinking about having kids, or have one on the way and want to know what taking care of a newborn is really like? Find out by playing The New Parent Game.
Designate one player as the newborn’s primary caretaker (we’ll call her “mom.”)
Set the timer to go off every 2.5 hours throughout the day and night.
How to play:
Assume regular daily responsibilities. When the timer goes off every 2.5 hours, stop whatever you are doing. If you are sleeping, wake up. Now “care for the baby” for 45 minutes. See “Special Rules” below to learn how to care for the baby.
After 45 minutes, reset the stopwatch to go off in another 2.5 hours and repeat for three months.
Special Rules for Mom:
While you “care for the baby” you must remain awake. You may not do anything that you “need” to do (like eating) and you may not do anything that you may “want” to do—like maintaining your personal hygiene.
Because you are on maternity leave, you must pitch in by taking care of the home. Take on additional duties such as cooking, laundry, etc…
Wildcard– Each morning, roll the dice. This is the number of times you will not be able to soothe your baby while you are caring for them. You must care for the child for two consecutive 45 minute sessions with no break in between.
After six weeks you may leave the house for your postpartum exam. You will then get the all-clear to resume sexual relations, after which you must add intercourse to your routine.
Special Rules for Dad:
While you care for the baby you may fall asleep or let the baby sleep, which will ruin any schedule mom may have instituted.
You may leave the house for the entire day while you go to work.
During the evening, you may ask mom to “quiet the baby” so that you can get a full night’s sleep to prepare for work the following day.
Optional– You may choose to do one nice thing a day such as changing a diaper or feeding the baby. If those tasks are too difficult, you may simply hold the child or supervise it while it is propped up.
Dad does not have a wildcard.
Make sure you have time for video games, golf, and other pleasures.
Have any rules you’d like to add? Leave a comment!